Little Somethings
by Sensless
Summary: One Shots, non-related and irregular. Warning for: Character Death, Homosexuality, Alcohol Consume, Irregular writing, horrible time skips, suicide mention, ABO-Verse, very short chapters. Never to be completed.
1. If tomorrow never comes

Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest.

Sometimes we fear for things that we know wont happen.

Sometimes "Tomorrow" doesn't come.

It wasn't that Kai Hiwatari was a Coward, you could ask anyone who knows him about that. Yet there was one thing he fears so much it scares him. Its is a simple thing, really. His best friend often belittles him about it despite not being any better at the it.

Love.

Love is a funny thing, worming its way into your mind and capturing it, keeping it from thinking clearly. It is the thing that keeps young men and women up at night, both wanting and dreading it the same.

"You know that he'd never hate you! I mean come on, we're talking about Kinomiya. The Guy who took you back after betraying him three times. The very same guy that fulfilled the drunken bet of fighting a Beybattle in a dress! Nothing about him gives me the idea of being a intolerant asshole Kai!" Yuriy had enough of it. Watching his best friend grumbling and huffing and working himself up every day over a problem that wasn't there. "I'll tell him. Someday." that said his partner tried to flee the scene. Kai stood up, turning around to leave the Café they always meet at just to be stopped by a Hand on his wrist. "Someday might never come you know" Yuriy looks directly into Kai's eyes in hopes of finding at least a trace of understanding there. But wall he sees is the fright of a man who thinks he's got everything to lose. sighing he let go of Kai and turns back to his coffee. Its no use talking to the stoic youth once he's back to his 'He'll hate me for sure' thoughts. "I'll meet him tomorrow, at the airport. I promised to pick him up once he's back from America to spend the weekend together. And its not like I could run away then" He sighed and made his way to the door and left.

Three years. That's how long he avoided to talk about it. All the time he feared rejection but even more than that the loss of a friendship that saved his life. He knew Yuriy is right, has always been right. Takao would never hate him for his love. But the thoughts stay, and the bad dreams in which he is snarled and laughed at. Kai rubbed his eyes before getting into his car and driving home. It was going to be a long night but he needed to clear his head for now. He knew that if he didn't act soon someone else might come and steal his love away and no one steals from Kai Hiwatari. Sleep didn't come easy that night and in his dreams he was visited by visions of his love and their future together.

Needless to say, Kai's mood was pretty down the next morning. Standing up he looked at his phone to check the time. 7.30 am, Takao's flight lands at 9.00 am and he needs an hour to get to the airport, so he has thirty minutes to get ready. Oh joy. The man sighs and starts getting ready for the day as slow as possible, still trying to push the dreaded meeting back some time. All will end well he tells himself as he enters his car and makes his way to the airport. Its 8.15 as he leaves, hoping for a miracle to happen.

On his way to the airport he tries to shake off his fright and nervousness by listening to the radio. A decision he will soon come to regret.

"Breaking news. The Flight JA647 from New York to Tokyo went missing after some turbulences. All contact to the plane is lost and the Japanese Costal Guard was sent to look for the plane offshore in hopes of finding survivors. According to our expert are the chances of the Plane still flying too low. Families and Friends of the passengers are asked to remain calm and wait for more news at the Tokyo Airport."

Kai's heart stops for a beat and he nearly misses his exit. Flight JA 647 was Takao's flight. they had talked the day before, just before his meeting with Yuriy, about the exact details of when and where Takao would land, about his flight number and expected delays at the gate. About their planned weekend. Not about the possibility of never seeing each other again. He took a deep breath and holds it the rest of the way to the airport. Kais plan was to wait there together with other people; mothers, fathers, lovers who all waited for a special person to return to them.

When he arrived at the airport there are no news about the whereabouts of the missing plane or its passengers. And so he waits for an hour, and another and another and looses track of time thinking, regretting all the times he had the change to tell Takao how he feels yet didn't because he was to scared, to much of a coward to tell. Its already late evening when a security officer comes to update the families of their loved ones fates. his lowered eyes are already a sign of what kind of news they were:

"I regret to inform you that an hour ago parts of the wreck of the flight JA 647 were found. After several diving's we are now cleared to inform that there have been no survivors"


	2. When you say nothign at all

_It's amazing how you  
Can speak right to my heart.  
Without saying a word  
You can light up the dark._

He's never been a man of many words. That didn't change, not after winning against the Champion in a official match, not after their first date nor after their wedding night. It didn't matter though, as his Lover understood him even without words.

 _Try as I may, I could never explain  
What I hear when you don't say a thing._

It was as if the younger one could read his mind.  
Whenever one of their friends asked about it though, the young man would just say: "Its hard to explain, but a lack of words doesn't mean a lack of love"

 _The smile on your face  
Lets me know that you need me.  
There's a truth in your eyes  
Saying you'll never leave me.  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall.  
You say it best when you say nothing at all._

When Kai himself asked Takao for an explanation he got a similar answer. "Not everything needs to be said in words, that's what body language is for". His husband then proceeded to show him what he meant, rather then talking. Despite never saying I love you in those three words, he knew that Takao new just how much this meant to him. And nothing would change that.

 _All day long I can hear  
People talking out loud (oooh).  
But when you hold me near (you hold me near)  
You drown out the crowd (the crowd, the crowd)._

They found comfort in each other and, in a way, Takao enjoyed his lovers silence. It gave them a moment to rest in this hectic world.

 _Try as they may, they can never define  
What's been said between your heart and mine.  
_  
The People around them often tried to intervene with their life though. Calling him emotionless and uninterested. Telling his Lover he's to noisy and childish. But they don't, can't understand the bond they share. He pities them, as they will never know what it means to completely belong to another being, not needing to announce it to the world to feel secure about it.

 _The smile on your face  
Lets me know that you need me.  
There's a truth in your eyes  
Saying you'll never leave me.  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall.  
You say it best (you say it best) when you say nothing at all._

Of course there was doubt in him, that it wasn't enough. That his love wouldn't be enough make his partner happy. Yet Takao showed Kai everyday that even the tiniest smile conveys ones love better than words sometimes.

 _The smile on your face  
Lets me know that you need me.  
There's a truth in your eyes  
Saying you'll never leave me.  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall.  
You say it best (you say it best) when you say nothing at all._

 _(You say it best when you say nothing at all.  
You say it best when you say nothing at all.)_

 _That smile on your face,  
The truth in your eyes,  
The touch of your hand  
Lets me know that you need me._

 _(You say it best when you say nothing at all.  
You say it best when you say nothing at all.)_

And with every passing Day, with every smile and every kiss their love grows stronger and they know, whenever they look into each other eyes that this is forever. No matter the hardships they must go through in the their love will be stronger even without words.


	3. Highschool Sweethearts

Being the two most wanted students of course they weren't save from Drama.

Kai was known to never stick with someone and switch between his fangirls whenever he felt like it.

Takao was on the teachers list even more than Kai for slacking off in class, not being there and almost being kicked out twice. One of the times wasn't even his fault though:

"Kai Alexey Hiwatari!"

It's rare that the blue haired Boy was as enraged as he was now, yet his dual haired roommate wasn't concerned – whatever happened could probably be solved with a bit of fighting and a large serve of ice cream afterwards.

He turned his head just in time to catch a white object flying towards his face.

"Tell your girl toys to clean up after they use our bathroom!"

With that the other huffed and left the their shared apartment, most likely to got to his part-time job as barista down the street. When Kai looked at the object in his hands he didn't believe his eyes at first. He was holding a pregnancy test- a positive one. Cold sweat ran down his back as he thought of the consequences that little stick would bring and his grandfather's silent threat that hung in the air.

If you do anything to disgrace our family I will send you to a boarding school and you better pray for it to be a non-military one

Panicking, he tried to remember who the last girl was he had over. Amanda? Samantha? It was something like that. One of the Cheerleaders... they were partying after the football team won a big game, Kai only took over for another play but was still invited to join the Party. He always drinks to much at those. Not that it needed much to get him drunk with next to zero fat in his body.

It took him three weeks and an announcement via the headmasters office to find out that Amanda Richards, a Freshman and Transfer Student from England, and her Father are planning to sue the school for "unauthorized parties, minors drinking and obscene behaviour from older students".

Luckily for him, Amanda was to scared of his name and Reputation to call him out.

Unluckily for Takao, he was the next on the list. Being the one who found her pregnancy test wasn't helping.

"I swear to all that's holy that I have never laid hands on that Girl, I don't even know her! I only saw her once when she was leaving the Apartment I live at!"

"Nonsense! My Daughter would not lie about such a thing! You got her drunk and laid your filthy hands on her! I want you punished!"

When he opened the Door to the head masters office that day his heart skipped a beat looking at his friend being cornered by an enraged and read headed Businessman.

Kai cleared his throat, wanting to help his friend out as it was his fault Takao even was in this predicament.

"Why don't we find that out by doing a DNA test on the child? I am pretty sure your daughter would not want to end another students career because of selfish wishes"

The read head of the businessman turned around, ready to call Kai a liar too. But as the man realized just who stood before him he turned white and starts stuttering about how he did not know the boy (Takao) was a friend of the young Master Hiwatari. The Headmaster just sighed and called for a Nurse to arrange a visit at the clinic with all the students that were suspected to be the child's father.

Another week later one could find Kai and Takao on their usual Spot on the roof at lunch, being back to non-friends-just-roommates behaviour.

"Say Kai, did you for one moment think that I might be the father of the child?"

/hm. As far as I know virgins can't be parents/

"What... Why do you think I'm a virgin?"

/You never bring any girls home, you openly reject them all the time, you stay away from parties as if it would kill you to attend one so it's pretty clear you're a virgin/

"Gay Kai, that's what I am. I don't like girls that way and I stay away from parties because I usually end up dragging your drunk ass home after watching clumps of horny teenagers all over each other which is gross!"

With that Takao turned around to leave the roof, barely hearing Kais last Question:

/So, are you a virgin or not?/

It would take Kai another two years to get an answer to that question.


	4. Highschool Sweethearts II

t was the first party of the year and like every year it was full of flirting sophomores, shy freshman and snogging juniors and seniors, trying to enjoy themselves one last time before hell goes into another round. Usually Takao hates party's like this. Usually.

But this time he didn't care. Oh yes for the first time in all of high school Takao Kinomiya got drunk. And he did it on purpose – at least that's what has been telling himself the past half an hour. After all Kai said he'd drive and therefore wont drink this time. This was Takaos chance to finally get what he wanted. And he came prepared! He just forgot that maybe his plan won't work because it initially consisted of both him and Kai drunk.

What his plan was? To make out with Kai Hiwatari! To finally shut up all the banshees who've been trying to get between them. To finally lay his lips on the rose coloured ones of his partner. And to finally snog on one of this goddamn parties too!

His secret weapon? A Candy Lipstick. A simple sweet for children he knew Kai wouldn't be able to resist. Maybe it was childish but sometimes children have the best ideas. And so Takao was half stumbling – half sneaking through whoever's house this party was at in search of his victim errr partner. All the while slightly suckling on the treat in his mouth, moistening his lips and "applying" the lipstick all while giggling about his brilliant masterplan.

It took him a mere five minutes before he found Kai all broody leaning against a wall in a rather empty hallway.

"Hey Kai, why so broody?" He asked, trying to mask the slight slur in his words with a smile. The other just stared at him on eyebrow raised. " I just noticed how much I dislike these party's without alcohol. I finally get why you never went to one" Kai loosened his composure and relaxed a bit which gave Takao the perfect opportunity to strike.

He grabbed Kais Shirt and pulled him down to have easier access to his lips and full on planted a kiss on them. It was a slow kiss at first, just moving his lips at Kai's who was to shocked to actually do something. He let go of him and licked his own lips – a gesture that the just kissed involuntarily copied.

"What's that taste?" It was sweet like sugar and yet something else mixed with it. Probably whatever alcohol Takao had drunk earlier. His breath smelled suspiciously like vodka and something sweet.

"Want more?"

He watched his blue haired angel pulling a small plastic stick out of his pants, opening the lid – and licking it with his tongue. All around to wet the candy stick before wetting his own lips and brushing the stick against them – before putting the stick back and returning to his previous activity, namely kissing the elder boy.

This time encouraging him to go further, to lick those sweet, sweet lips.

To pry them open and carefully deepen the kiss.

To lazily move against Takao's own tongue and encourage him to do the same.

To slowly, very slowly let them forget what happened around them.

Let their hands wander over arms and backs to behinds wanting to be grabbed

To have ones legs wind around the others pressing closer to the wall.

To have on pair of hands tangle in short, black hair at the Back of the bigger boys head to angle their heads just right to keep on kissing.

It felt like an eternity where they did nothing but kiss, only stopped to catch their breaths but never really separating, placing small butterfly kisses on the others lips while they waited for their pulse to calm and their lungs to fill before starting their game again – this time without the additional sweetness of the candy which was long forgotten

It was the sound of a very loud camera shutter and the giggling of the crowd that formed around them that got them to let go of each other. Someone shouted: " Hey don't stop, it was getting hot" somewhere but Kai couldn't care less. He grabbed Takao's wrist and pulled the boy outside, towards the car and towards their home.

On the way back he refused let go of the young, clearly drunk boy as he was scared he'd wake up and it all was just a dream.

They somehow made it up into their apartment and toward the Livingroom (their bedrooms were both too far away) while groping and kissing each other whenever possible. Kai moved them to their couch, softly pushing Takao down against it. The other was way too far gone to fight against that – not that he would have. His arms came up around Kais neck, looking directly into his Eyes.

"Kai...Please..." It was barely a whispered moan and Kai had to swallow and stop for a second. He knew Takao was far too drunk to give consent to anything yet... he didn't want to leave his friend in his.. Uncomfortable state...

[Aaaaaan we're cutting it here cause I am to lazy to Change the Rating - the rest can be found on my Tumblr]


	5. Highschool Sweethearts III

Furniture shopping was always a little adventure for Takao and Kai often asked him if he was sure that he wants to be a teacher and not an architect later on. But he knew that if he'd been forced to do this every day and needed to suit some strangers tastes he wouldn't be happy with it. Right now however, in the midst of the kitchen section in a well-known furniture store, he felt like a small child in a toy store.

Now if his Partner would just help him decide which counter style they should take!

"Look Kai, you told me at least twice today that you hate having to shop for new stuff although you knew we needed to get the new apartment furnished. Be happy we didn't have to actually renovate and paint the whole place and help me pick a kitchen so we can grab bite to eat and move downstairs already!" As much as he loved this he was getting hungry and a wanted to eat some food.

Kai just rolled his eyes and stared at the displays annoyed. He wanted to browse some catalogues and buy the furniture online but Takao insisted to visit a store to have a real look at everything. Luckily his grandfather offered to pay for everything as he expected Kai to stay in his new city apartment from now on. At least until he got married or so the old man said. Not that it was the money that bothered the dual haired man, no it was far more simple: he hated being in crowds. And the Store was just that, crowded with people, especially young families. He turned his head towards his lover who was staring at him expectantly . Just as he opened his mouth Kai snarled and muttered: "We're taking the oak one, you'll look good bent over it." Needless to say that left Takao speechless as he wrote down the inventory number and headed for the canteen area for lunch.

While they we're eating they talked about what else they needed and Kai's want to leave as soon as possible.

"Look at it this way phoenix: all we need now are small stuff like a full set of kitchen ware and some decorative stuff! Once we're home our bedroom and bathroom will be waiting for us, all finished (and probably dirty) and they offer services to put up your kitchen here so we won't have to take care of that either!" Kai just rolled his eyes thinking about all the cleaning they'll have to get done and all the take out they'll be eating until the kitchen finally stood. He hated the way they were living currently yet he adored the excitement Takao had for it. No matter how he looked at it as long as his Angel was there he could live through anything.

"Ya know, we could break the bed in tonight... if you know what i mean" The Blush on Takao's cheeks was enough to lift Kai's spirits and help him forget about the ordeal that lay before him. He cocked an eyebrow and asked:

"You sure?" The timid nod of his lovers head made him smile and together they ventured of into the abyss known as market hell.

Two and a half hours later they arrived at their City Home, both exhausted and ready to collapse. To their surprise they found a note from one of the neighbours (a nice old Lady with at least six cats), who had offered to watch over the workers who assembled their furniture, that she cleaned their place and left some of her food in the living room for them to eat for dinner.

Another two hours of unpacking, decorating and dinner later found both young men on their small couch enjoying some music while just chilling a bit.

Their new home was "the real deal" as Takao liked to say: two bedrooms, a large bathroom, small corner study and an open Living Area that was separated from the kitchen with a half-wall. Due to his family and connections Kai got the place at a fair price seeing that the building was in position of the Hiwatari Corporation. He declined his grandfather's offer of living there for free as he preferred to have at least a bit of independence and begrudgingly took the old man's offer to pay for the furniture after he found out there was none. They had started the shopping and setting up of it a week after graduation and moved in just a few days ago while still finishing some renovations.

The University was only a fifteen minute march away and the local station about half an hour. A grocery store and pharmacy were also close by and the city centre was easily reachable by train. Only Kai had a disadvantage getting to work as he had to drive about forty minutes to the next town and hitting rush hour often meant getting home an hour later than planned. Still better than Takao who now had an hour and half commute to the coffee shop he already worked at during high school. Although he didn't need to work the blue haired felt that he had a responsibility of taking care of at least some of the monthly costs they had.

Kai looked down at Takao and sighed. Right now there was nothing he wanted more….. or at least almost nothing.

"it's late, how about we go to sleep?"

He could see Takaos Face going red. He didn't forget what he said earlier and it seemed like he regret it. "Hey you know, we don't -" "No. I… I really want this Kai! It's just… strange. You got so much experience and I act like a little girl having her first real crush." He looked down and played with his hands in his lap. Kai smiled and took Takaos Face in his hands. "That doesn't matter Love. We can do this step by step until you´re comfortable with it. We can always stop."

With that he kissed the younger. Slowly, sensually. He kissed him like he did so many times before, let his hands wander over the clothed body he knew so well. Takao let himself fall back on the Couch, fully trusting his partner. After all they weren't abstinent monks but healthy young man. It still troubled him that he knew so little about what would happen yet he tried to tell himself that Kai might have had a lot of female lovers yet this would be his lovers first time with a man too. His hands found its way into Kais hair and tugged slightly. Kai groaned at that, breaking the kiss for a second just to start it again this time with more pressure, aiming to build up that sweet friction they both knew so well. When the first clothes flew they decided it was time to move it to the bedroom. After all they planned to put their new Bed to good use that night.

[See Chapter before, rest can be found on my Tumblr]


	6. Valentines Chocolate

(1)

It was his treasure. His precious, tiny treasure.

And he wouldn't share it, not even with Brian. Or Spencer. Or Ian.

Not that there was much to share.

He opened his mouth and with one bite it was gone.

Yuriy had to remember to thank the Kinomiya boy for the chocolate next time he saw him.

Valentines was by far his favourite holiday.

(2)

This was a first for him.

Never had he gotten Valentines Chocolate.

He was always the on watching the others unpacking tons of it every year, send by fans.

But this year was different. He saw it immediately as he entered the classroom.

A small package, not bigger than the palm of his hand. No note, no card, just the chocolate.

Kenny looked at his friend who was vividly talking to a classmate and silently thanked him for the kind gesture. One day he'll have the Courage to pay Takao back for his kindness.

(3)

Every year they exchanged packages with letters and Chocolate in them.

He never kept much of the stuff he got from fans, usually donated it to children hospitals or orphanages. They needed it more than him.

But not this one. He cherished it, waited for just the right moment after a hard day of training with his Mom and the All-Stars before eating it. Not that it was especially fancy or anything. He wasn't even to keen of dark chocolate. But it always felt like he could hear Takao's laugh and feel his happiness from when he made the chocolate when he ate it and that was enough to make it special.

Max already has plans to bother his friend on his next visit to teach him how to make chocolate. It wont be to long 'til them, after all the whole team already planned a Thank You Package he has to deliver in time for White Day.

(4)

It's usually past the 14th of February when the Package arrives.

Yet its always a little celebration for them, especially because chocolate is a rare treat in their mountain home. Rei has to be careful not to let Gao or Kiki out of his sight. Or Master Tao. The three of them are unbelievably fast and cunning when it comes to stealing the little treats. Although usually a threat from Mao is enough to keep them back.

For Rei its less the chocolate and more the accompanying letter he awaits. Phones rarely work out where he lives so the occasional Letter between visits is his only way of staying in touch with his old friends.

Maybe he'll ask the rest of the White Tigers if they were up to visiting Japan this year, instead of the usual white day package.

(5)

This year was the year she'd done it. Last year she'd only watched, teh year before she was to surprised when she found out on the big day itself. But this year HIromi finally did it. She'd asked Takao to show her how to make Valentines Chocolates. His face was priceless when he realised that she didn't come to chew him out about his average grades but actually asked for help.

She should have taken a Picture.

They started the day before Valentines with grocery Shopping, carefully avoiding places with to many People as it wasn't uncommon that Fans asked Takao for an Autograph and some of them might jump on conclusions when seeing them together - without the rest of the Team.

It wasn't that she didn't like him. No, she loved him a lot but not in that way. To her, Takao was like the sibling she never had, a annoying nuisance with the biggest heart and to much love to give. There was a time whe she believed that she wanted more but she soon came to know that the Love she felt for him was nothing like the Love he felt for his Special Person. Whoever that might be.

Hiromi sighed, there was a growing betting pool between the Teams on when and where Takao and Kai would finally get together. Everyone knew that there was something special between them yet they neither confirmed nor denied a relationship or really any Special Connection between them.

When they got back to the Dojo they immediately started their work. Measuring the ingredients, readiyng the forms and putting on aprons because it usually got really messy with Takao in the kitchen. They made the chocolate from scratch, only having bought a bit of White chocolate to use as decoration. With Cocoa Powder, sugar and cocoa butter they easily made a base and added severalingredients, depending on who they made the chocolate for. Since Takao already send out most of his Valentines Packages there were only a few People left: His Family, Hiromi, the Chief, Mr. D and well, Kai. They ended up making several heart and star shaped chocolates with nuts, fruits and even some milkchocolate with the help of dry milk. There was just one Heart that was simple dark chocolate, untouched by any other substance.

Since the Chocolate had to cool for about twenty hours they decided to meet up the next day and finish the decorations then. Much to her surprise, when she arrived at the Dojo the next Day Takao has already finished his Chocolates and greeted her with a big grin and the Milk Chocolate Heart saying: 'For the best-worst Manager in the World'.

"Happy Valentines Day Hiromi, lets get those chocolates finished"

Hiromi had to stay back for a while, Holding the chocolate in her Hands and biting back tears. Yes she loved him, she loved him so much that she wished for him to find happiness and love like the one he gives to each and everyone he meets.

(6)

Today marks the fourteenth day of the second month of the new year.

Or as some might say, Valentines Day.

To him it was a day spent giving out Love and Happiness to his friends and Family.

To his Lover it was simply a regular day at work, disrupted by employees with horrible tastes trying to shove heart shapes, pink something into his face.

He hummed a mindles tune while on his way towards the Main Building of the Hiwarari Corporation and into the Young CEO's Office. As usual he found Kai sitting behind his desk, buried in paperwork and with a frown on his pretty face. Starting full time right after School into a big, International Company took a lot more out of the youth than he'd like to admit.

Closing the door as quiet as possible, Takao stealthily sauntered over to hug his Boyfriend from behind. "Happy Valentines Day Love" he whispered into the others Ear, stiffling a giggle as he felt the Hiwatari jump stiffen beneath him.

In his Hands he Held a simple Dark Chocolate Heart, wrapped in simple clear foil and nothing more. "I wasn't sure about what to put on it so I just left it blank. Figured you'd like it better this way. Kai smiled a bit at that, remembering how the year before the youngest Kinomiya made the effort of carving a stylised phoenix into the chocolate and colouring it. The Hiwatari refused to eat it and the couple broke into a quarrel as Takao thought Kai didn't appreciate the effort put ito it while Kai simply didn't want to destroy the "art" his boyfriend made for him.

He sighed and relaxed a bit against the youngers chest. Closing his eyes he felt a flutter of kisses on his head and forehead, as well as hands moving to knead the stress out of his shoulders. "You should try moving more during work or you'll end up with chronicle neck pain" Takao's Voice was soft and calm and added to the effect of the warm hands moving. "I brought some chocolates for your parents and your insufferable grandfather too. Thought I'd try sucking it up with the future in-laws." He chuckled and opened his eyes slightly to look at his lovers smirking face.

"That he reminds me that my mother invited you and your family over for dinner on the weekend. She's still waiting for us to tell the world, despite telling me that we should take as much time as needed every day!

Takao huffed. Kai's Mother was a rather sweet and caring woman but she couldn't keep out of their relationship ever since they told both the Kinomiya and Hiwatari Families. "At least she's not sending out death threats like a certain old geezer we know. I guess me and Voltaire aren't going to become friends any time soon.

He pulled back a bit before leaning down, kissing his lover a quick goodbye and turning to leave.

"Seven o'clock down by the rive, like every year?!

Kai smiled as he answered, Head already deep in his Paperwork again " Sure, just try not to forget Dragoon this time!"


	7. Milka Kuhflecken

Immer wenn er bei seinem Freund übernachtete hatte Takao eine kleine Tasche dabei. Schwarz, unauffällig und recht klein. Und voller Make-Up. Allerdings kein komplettes Set, nein. Nur Basis Make-Up in drei verschiedenen Tönen und in Großpackungen. Warum? Nun, Takao gehört zu den wenigen Menschen auf den Welt die unter einer bestimmten Pigmentstörung "leiden", welche Vitiligo genannt wird. Während die hellen Flecken auf der Haut selbst nicht schädlich sind, leiden viele darunter wie andere Sie sehen.

Der junge Champion war keine Ausnahme. Obwohl er das Glück hatte das sein Gesicht frei von Flecken war so erstreckten sie sich in variierenden Größen über den restlichen Körper. Er hatte schon als Kind die Erfahrung gemacht, dass andere dieses Hautbild als hässlich und ungesund abstempelten. Sein Bruder hatte ihm damals die Arme mit dem Make-Up der Mutter verdeckt, eine lange Hosen Pflicht eingeführt und wann Immer es ging vor Kindern geschützt die sich über die Male lustig gemacht haben. Als er älter wurde lernte Takao die Flecken selbst zu verstecken. Wenn er mal keine Lust auf Make-up hatte, zog er einfach lange Kleidung und Handschuhe an.

Vor allem seine Hände störten Takao extrem. Über beide zogen sich kleinere Flecken, ähnlich wie Sommersprossen. Es war einer der Gründe warum er so häufig mit Handschuhen zu sehen war.

Seufzend stellte Takao die Tasche auf dem Rand des Waschbeckens ab und rieb sich die Augen. Es war Samstag und Kai hatte Ihn mit den Worten " Wir haben heute noch etwas vor" etwas unsanft aus dem Bett geschmissen. Er öffnete das Täschchen und stutzte als er anstatt seines Make-Ups eine Tafel Schokolade fand. Auf der Schokolade klebte ein Zettel mit der einfachen Aufschrift "Du bist schön so wie du bist". Mit einem Schmunzeln auf den Lippen machte er sich fertig, heute mit etwas mehr Mut und guter Laune - ohne Make-Up. Er nahm die Schokolade und machte sich auf den Weg in die Küche, wo sein Liebhaber schon mit dem Frühstück auf Ihn wartete. Mit wenigen Schritten trat er hinter Kai, schlang seine Arme um ihn und drückte Ihm einen Kuss auf die Wange. "Guten Morgen Loverboy. Danke für die kleine Aufmunterung aber sag mal - warum Kuhflecken?"

Kai - welcher gerade den letzten Pfannkuchen wendete - drehte seinen Kopf leicht und drückte Takao einen flüchtigen Kuss auf die Lippen. "Ganz einfach, Sie hat mich an dich erinnert. Außerdem weißt du doch dass ich auf Flecken stehe. Ihr seht also beide gleichermaßen zum Anbeißen aus" Er drehte sich zurück zum Herd und grinste als er merkte wie Takao seinen Kopf zwischen den Schulterblättern des Älteren vergrub und leise lachte. "Du bist unmöglich weißt du das!" Ein seufzen verlies seine Lippen als er sich von Kai löste und an den Tisch setzte und sich schonmal an den Pfannkuchen vergriff. "Was hast du eigentlich vor heute?". Kai, der es mittlerweile geschafft hatte den Herd auszuschalten und sich mit an den Tisch zu gesellen schnaubte amüsiert. "Wir sind bei meinen Eltern zum Mittagessen eingeladen und wollten vorher noch bei Max vorbeischauen. Takao schluckte. Er hatte komplett vergessen dass Kais Eltern sie eingeladen hatten. "ich wird dann noch mal ins Bad gehen und-"

"Nein"

Gerade als er aufstehen wollte griff Kai nach Takaos Hand und zog sie zu sich. Langsam und sorgsam, wie er es so oft schon bei Ihrem Liebesspiel getan hat, küsste er jeden hellen Hautflecken die er erreichen konnte. "Du weißt dass du dich nicht vor uns verstecken musst. Du bist wunderschön…. Deine Hände tragen Sternenhimmel, Dein Rücken ist wie die Karte einer neuen Welt und das Herz auf der Spitze deines - "

"Schon gut! Schon gut!"

Takao lief knallrot an und senkte den Blick. Nach einer Weile lachte er leise auf und strahle Kai. "Ich liebe dich weißt du das?! Also gut, lass uns fertig Frühstücken und auf den Weg machen bevor wir uns noch verspäten."


	8. Starting over Again

It felt like ages since he last saw the sun. Although, realistically, he sees it every day once gets to work in the wee hours of the day and every night just as he's about to leave his office (and usually get held back for another hour or two). But to be out in the sun, in broad daylight and the middle of the day was something Kai Hiwatari hasn't done for a while. Or for some years to be exact. He sighed and looked away, his eyes hurting. It should have been a day like every other, but apparently he was "waisting his life away" or whatever it was his mother said when she ushered him out of the Hiwatari Corp. mainbuilding to "take some time off".

Another sigh left his lips and a frown now marred his once beautiful face. Kai was looking at his own, worn out reflection now. The stores windows were dusty and in no way as sharp as a real mirror but he could clearly see why his Mother worried about him. The sharp edges of his face had fallen into his cheeks due to his loss of fat and muscle during the years, his face was more of an ashen grey than the pristine clear and almost snow white skin he used to have. Gone was the fire in his ruby eyes and replaced by the cold steer of a world worn businessman, accompanied by thin lips pressed together to a almost non-existent line. He looked as if he was late for a meeting and a dog just pissed on his shoes - twenty-four seven. It pained himself to realize that there was nothing left of the man he once was, the young pioneer his friends and subordinates would rely on and cheer for. All that he could see was the shell of a man who lost everything but refused to accept it, only listening to the voices who told him different.

The Media and Tabloids that reported of the young and brilliant businessman that helped the flourishing company his grandfather build up to keep getting bigger and better and keeping the social images of it as clean as possible. The news reporters that could go on endlessly how he took over at only the age of twenty-two when his father fell ill and his grandfather died. The old man trying to buy his favour by kissing the ground he walks on, but talked about how he was only a chicken in a world filled with hungry wolves. He proved them all wrong, never relying on anyone or anything other than…. other than her.

Kai shook his head and started to walk towards the park just around the corner of the company. He didn't feel like going back to the grey box he called a home. it wasn't that. never has been. He'd only known one home that he left behind in his own foolish acts of defiance. Taking a walk like this was nice, he admitted while taking a deep breath, searching for a place he could sit down and rest at. He found a small group of trees, unoccupied in the corner of the park. Sitting down he looked around. The park was fairly empty as it was only around twelve and most people where still at work and the children still at day care and school.

He closed his exes, wanting to rest for a mere moment but jolting awake to hear children laugh and see that the sun was already starting to set. Falling asleep in the midst of the day, what an adult thing to do. He scolded himself mentally and got up, dusting off the grass of his pants, glad he was wearing black ones that didn't show to much dirt. It was a nice rest, despite not free of dream. Dreams that haunted him every night since he stopped… stopped relying on the devils help to stay awake and keep going.

It was best kept secret yet everyone who really knew him knew about it. He was lucky his old friends were loyal and never told the presses about it. For more than a year now Kai Hiwatari was officially clean, at least when came to drugs harder than alcohol. He still drank through his weekends when he wasn't at work. In order to forget and move on, something _She_ surely has done by now. He stopped for a second there and closed his eyes, thinking. Was she even still a she? He remembered talking about it with her, especially before… that day. He couldn't remember much though, his mind having been hazed by a mixture of drugs, alcohol and stress. Taking over the family business at such a young age with no one he could trust but one person that he was unable to confine in took its toll. Only when his father finally got better had Kai realized what he's done and lost. And now it was to late to go back.

With sadness in his eyes Kai turned towards the exit of the park and started to walk back when he saw him… her. He blinked, rubbed his exes and blinked again. There, only a few meters away from him, stood what was thought lost to him. Like and angel that lost its wings a young man blankly started ahead, looking at Kai yet looking through him. The young Hiwatari swallowed, took a step forward and cautiously said

"Taka…?"

It was like whisper, swallowed by sound of the wind blowing through the trees, letting leaves dance through the air and around the other Male who now focused his gaze on him.

"Hey.. Kai…"

It wasn't much louder than his own Voice but clearly heard it. Yes, Kai was sure, this was the one who haunted his nights, the one who got a way. or well, the one he left behind. Although different before him stood Taka - Takao - Kinomiya. Almost Hiwatari, had he not left her - no him - waiting in front of the altar. Back, when Takao - hopefully he remembered the Name correctly - was still Yui Kinomiya. Yui who always listened, who brightened his Day. Yui, his sun and his love. Yui, whom he left in tears, humiliated in front of their friends and families. And for what? for a Live filled with falseness and Pain.

" Its been what, five years? Didn't think I'd see you again. In real life I mean, there's enough media coverage about your oh so glamorous life all over the net. How… How have you really been doing Kai?"

The Question startled him out of his thoughts. Takao spoke with a much lower Voice than before. Naturally, the transition changed a lot about her. All of her. But it was what she truly wanted. And once upon a time he wanted to be by her - no his, he had to get himself together now - side through it. Kai's head hurt when for a moment he remembered a warm summer night when they chilled at Takao's Family home, an old dojo in the outskirts of town, and they were making a list of possible Names before Yui choose Takao. When he asked why she just said that she liked the meaning and, in her ears, Takao Hiwatari didn't sound to bad. It was long before he asked for her hand in marriage yet even back then he knew that Y- Takao was the one he'd do anything for. Or almost anything as it turned out.

"Sorry, I spaced out for a bit. Its good to see your doing well, Takao. You did take that Name if I remember correctly? Please do correct me if you didn't. And as you may notice I've… been getting better lately. I'm clean now. No more drugs but, well, I guess I still have a drinking problem."

An amused snort, eyes narrowing for a short while and roaming over his body. Never in his life had Kai felt more uncomfortable than now.

"Yes, I did take the name Takao. It's nice to see you remembered at least that. And thank you for not using my dead name anymore"

The youth looked away, shook his head slightly and directly stare at Kai, worry, sadness and a pinch of anger swirling through his blue eyes. Kai took a moment to look at Takao himself, noticing how well the transition seemed to have gone. there was no trace left, other than his long hair and the possible scars beneath his clothes that would signal another that before him stood a man that was once a woman. I'm focusing to much on the past, Kai thought and snorted which earned him a confused look from the other.

"Anyway, its good to see you're still alive. It would have been nice to hear from you though, even after all that happened I thought we'd at least be friends"

It sounded less angry and more sad, or disappointed than Kai thought it would. he honestly had hoped the other would at least be angry with him and tell him how he was done wrong and didn't want anything to do with the Hiwatari anymore. But Takao's never been like that, deep down he knew it. No matter how horrible one acted towards him Takao still tried to be their friend. Which didn't mean he doesn't have a temper top be feared. But right now it seemed that the pain was far stronger than the fury inside the youngers heart.

"I.. didn't think you'd want to hear from me, I didn't know how to apologize and.. and I honestly thought, back then, that I didn't do anything wrong. I know now that -"

"Stop. I don't want your apologies. I.. almost expected you to get cold feet and run. But what made it was why you let that happen. I was so frustrated when Yuriy called and told me they'd found you in a puddle of your own vomit and piss completely high the day after the ceremony. You.. You promised you'd talk to me if it all got to much If.. if me transitioning was to much or really if anything happened that would have made you quit. I always believed that the Kai Hiwatari I fell in love with was no quitter but yet, in the year before the wedding you started to lose yourself. I started to lose you. And all I could do was watch you flee into whatever fantasy world you saw. You stopped talking o me Kia. You stopped trusting me."

It felt like a punch in the gut to Kai as he listened. Listened to what he knew was the truth deep down but was unwilling to accept for so long. And it stood before him in the form of Takao Kinomiya, who still held his heart, who never judged him not even now and whom he utterly failed.

"I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I realize know what a bastard I was and I believe I'm paying for my wrongs everyday. I know it wont make anything right again but- I'm sorry"

His own ruby eyes filled with tears and his body started shaking when suddenly a pair of strong, warm arms encircled him. he could feel a hand stroking his hair as he let go. Let go of the burden he carried ever since he found the strength to fight against his demons. And for the first time in what felt like forever he was feeling comfort and warmth again. It took a while before Kai calmed down with the help of Takao's touch and the soothing words whispered into his ear.

He took a step back and looked at his once lover, stray tears still rolling down his face. Takao looked at him with a mixture of pain, sadness and …relief?

"I'm glad to hear you're getting better now. I'm sorry but I do have to go now, Hiro is waiting for me to pick up the twins at his place. Maybe, maybe we can meet again tomorrow? Maybe… "

He could himself off, checking his phone with a little frown. Twins huh? Seems like Takao kept to his own ideals and dreams and now had the family he always wanted. Kai could have been part of that family…. and who knows, maybe he still can.

"yes lets… lets talk again"

They quickly exchanged numbers and with a wave the Kinomiya left, slightly shaken himself. Kai felt a headache approaching again. Takao still had that soothing effect on him but, like a drug, once he was gone reality hit Kai again. he hadn't eaten anything that day and only drank a few cups of coffe before he was forced to leave work. While rummaging in his pants fo his wallet, so he could grab a bite to eat he found a slip of paper. An advertise for the AA Tokyo, the Anonimous alcoholics group his mother talked to him about. He smiled and, feeling bits of the energy he thought lost coming back to him. As he reached his Car his Phone vibrated, a message from Takao on it:

"I almost forgot: Happy Birthday Kai!"

On top of the message his phone showed the time and date. 2nd of August 2018, 08:38 pm. Kai had completely forgotten that it was his birthday. He laughed. For years he only had one wish : to get another chance at life. And this year it was finally granted. He thought back a bit to the meeting in the park, back to how it started with his mother forcing him to think of himself for once. On his way back home he also thought about what he talked to Takao about. And he realized that maybe, despite thinking it wouldn't bother him, the transition of his ex-fiancé did bother him. But it wasn't decision and he should have learned to be honest with himself instead of forcing a happiness he couldn't achieve.

But all that was in the past now and the now thirty year old only had one goal:

Starting over again

* * *

Before anyone starts complaining: I give 0 f*s on whether you like or dislike Trans-Character Headcanons or not and whether or not you would have written them differently. Feel free do tell me if I completely misinterpreted the experience though, I have not finished my research on transitioning, disphoria and possible therapies yet and I'll gladly take advice from people who actually know whats going on


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